An Anecdote of Alcohol and Emotions
The lump in the throat, the chill up the spine and the feeling of such gratitude and respect for those who gave their lives for our way of life, is something I feel every year on Remembrance Sunday. Like many other people, I attended a ceremony today in my village to remember them.
As the last post sounded I found myself moved to thinking how lucky I have been in my life and how, if such luck had not been with me, my story could have been very different. I went on to consider war and the fact that during such terrible conflicts there are many battles ongoing, often in different areas and how, one by one, they have the power to either strengthen or weaken the ultimate goal. Following such thoughts in my mind, I considered this in the context of the problem drinker (call it what you will).
Before I go on, I am by no means comparing my issues with those horrors faced by our heroes but it is what got my mind ticking….
In a conflict, the ultimate aim is to defeat the enemy for a better outcome (what that is matters not here), but to achieve such a goal the many strategies and different smaller battles need to be won.
Now take my case, a former Binge drinker (Cat 3 on my scale); Inside I was at war with myself and needed to stop boozing. Did I just stop? No, but I have done in the past and always started again, why? Because my aim is to stop drinking, the enemy is alcohol and there are other conflicts still raging which need to be addressed first.
My inner battles were stress, anxiety, depression, guilt of past mistakes and round again…. and alcohol was the enemy helping these negative internal conflicts gain control over me and my emotions, and emotions my friends are the unknown allies that are key to defeating the enemy once and for all, and winning the war. I now realise that by not dealing with my emotions, they have fed the internal conflicts (stress, anxiety etc.) within me and the enemy took full advantage over 25 years.
Therefore, the real war effort, is to look inside yourself and highlight the pockets of conflict and try to address them emotionally as best you can, and if that means you reach for help then do it. It may be events from your past or experiences you simply cannot emotionally come to terms with, but again reach for help, use the web, contact me, whatever, just seek and you will find.
In my case, I met a wonderful lady, Jill Cowley, who was my counsellor and is now my friend and she helped me come to terms with events in my life that I had not dealt with and as such the war had raged on. Without coming to terms with these emotions I would very likely be a dependant alcoholic, who knows? I also spoke to people in AA and although it turned out not to be for me, it also helped in different ways.
Finally, as with the real wars gone by we should remember these inner battles and small triumphs as they are the reason we have survived and come out of the situation with a better outcome.
Dig deep on your emotions people and you will come out the other side to a beautiful world of sobriety!
Thank you for reading! I hope this has been of help to anyone fighting their own internal battles.
Love to all… Darren